never grow up

i wish i would never grow up
i legitimately wish that most days
like i'm peter pan or something along those lines
who knows

like all these problems i'm facing with confusing boys and stress and drama and what other crap that can and will exhist in my life
its just dumb
i wish i was four years old again
i could take naps
and the hardest decision was which snack i wanted
-fruit snacks or goldfish
there was no drama about if this guy liked you or not
you had a boyfriend and the only reason he actually was you boyfriend was because he shared his fruit snacks with you, just a simpler time.

wouldnt it be great to go back to a time when you were so innocent to the world

when the easter bunny and santa clause were real and not your parents- sorry if i just blew that out of the water for you

when you didnt have to get told at the doctors that you can come to them for birth control and your parents dont have know about it, which i think is weird because i tell them that i'm just barely if not even dating and they still give me that talk every single time!- i live under a rock remember!

when you mention "kids" and people automatically assume that they are your legitimate kids, like flesh and blood. really people?!? - it was my teacher cadet kids or students from my 1st and 2nd grade classroom last year

when you didnt have to worry about your students because they have a boyfriend in 2nd grade and they are sort of figuring out boys - i just figured out some stuff actually

when my childhood sweetheart was dan cooper

when i still liked to play with my bijillion beanie baby kittens

when i had a legit play structure and sand box in my back yard (my neighbors can totally attest to how awesome it really was)

when you thought anybody could be a princess

when you still wished and waited for prince charming to come and sweep you off your feet

when the opposite sex wasnt so confusing

when life wasnt so complicated

when you thought high school was cool (something like highschool musical)

when you had must larger dreams

when there wasnt jokes about you ending up alone as the crazy old cat lady

when there werent any complicated feelings

when i used to draw my "j"'s  backwards :)

when you werent afraid to share your feelings

when my height wasnt so annoying- i mean really 5' 10"!  - i'm taller then about 50-75% of the guys in my class because of my fricken height!- and guys dont like girls that are taller then them- well what i have found at least



i dont want to grow up
i dont want my former 1st and 2nd graders to grow up
the song never grow up by taylor swift totally descibes my feelings towards them growing up. they are so little and innocent and i dont want any of them to have to go through the sometime trama of growing up, being in that awkward stage and sometimes getting their little heart broken.
i want them to stay innocent as long as possible
i want them to love still love justin bieber even if it means they keep their innocense and sense of wonder about the world, then i guess loving justin bieber is what it will take

as my mom used to say "i'll put bricks on your head so you'll stop getting so big" - dont worry she never did but it seemed like she too didnt want me to grow up too fast-maybe i should go get some bricks :p jk

maybe the reason why i suddenly don't want to grow up is because so many changes and experiences are going to happen in this next year. going off to college seems so scary and i almost don't feel old enough to be making that big of decision. deciding on my own, what i want to do, not what everybody else wants me to. i have to take my own life into my hands now
how scary is that?

i guess we all in sometime or another in our lives do not want to grow up, the future seems to scary or too overwhelming that you just want to go back to a time when you werent scared.
but growing up is about facing the unknown, facing the wind to your face instead of your back and learning to fly.

never growing up is unrealistic
no one person can stop themselves form aging or growing older just like how you cant keep the sun from setting
its inevitable

growing up is facing your fears
and even as a big scary senior in high school i dont want to face them yet
but i still have alot of growing up to do this year
i'll have to face the wind sometime
but not today
today i will curl up with my baby blanket and eat some fruit snacks while i watch re runs of scooby doo :)
i will grow up
just today i wont try to
i'll just enjoy my fruit snacks for now :)

<3